Decade in Review
To wrap up the decade I’d like to recollect how the last 10 years of my life have played out. In this span of time I have come to realize many of my childhood dreams. This is the decade that Dan Knabb got funny.
2000: Aged 14 I was a freshman in high school. In the spring I played 3 sports. I ran track for my school, was on a rec baseball team, and also played on a travel soccer team. I was also in boy scouts and managed a gpa of over 4.0, ranking 6th in my class.
2001: Take art 101. Begin sketching constantly in notebooks. Grades start to plummet. In the summer I download a trial version of Macromedia Flash 5. I make my first cartoon titled Castaway a love story where I imply that Tom Hanks has sexual intercourse with a volleyball. September 11. The care free days of my youth are over. America is now at war. In response a Testicular Super Hero is birthed.
2002: I finally hit my growth spurt. This was the year I came out of my shell. It had a lot to do with being involved with the Junior production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I played the role of Augustus Gloop, the fat German who falls in the chocolate river. I have 3 flash submissions to newgrounds.com that total over a million views. In the winter I’m in my senior year of high school. For our talent show I do stand-up for the first time. In front of over 1,000 people I destroy, leaving teachers and students crying. I know that stand-up is my future.
2003: After running track for 4 years I place 5th in leagues in the 300 meter hurtles. I visit Spain with a group of mostly girls from my school. Go to the prom dressed as Pee Wee Herman. I graduate from high school. Drink alcohol and smoke weed for the first time. Attend fall classes at West Chester University where I major in computer art. I start playing guitar teaching myself from online tabs.
2004: After another semester of college I am home for the summer when I dream up the walk across America. I begin visualizing the movie, and planning a course of action. My first goal is to get to Philadelphia where I think I can meet people to help me make my walk a reality. I do stand-up again and play guitar live for the first time.
2005: I get accepted to the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. I major in Animation. I do stand-up in a comedy club for the first time at Helium Comedy club where I again receive uproarious laughter. My dream of comedy stardom is confirmed. Also this is the year the never forget poster was created.
2006: I begin working on a video that I can show to promote my walk. Because of my efforts outside of school my grades in art school flop. I begin to prepare, starting by planning my route. At Easter dinner I announce to my family that I plan to walk across the country. My Mom laughs. My Dad doesn’t. I don’t go back to school but instead work at an art store in Philly. By the end of the year I was fired for using profanity on the job. Danknabb.com is started.
2007: I walk 2,000 miles across the country. After years of planning, and trying to get a film crew with me I decide to adventure off by myself. I walk the first 100 miles in April. Then walked from Philly to St. Louis from July to September. I come home for my grandmothers funeral and then return to the road in October. I resume my walk in St Louis and cross Missouri and Oklahoma before stopping again in Texas. Winter was approaching and I didn’t want to find myself stranded in the mountains of New Mexico on Christmas.
2008: It all comes crashing down. I try multiple times to get someone to accompany me with a car as I walk across the desert. Three different drivers back down for different reasons. My pet cat is hit by a car and my dog is put to sleep due to illness. I learn that my Mom has cancer. I get a crappy job to occupy my time as I continue to try and find a way back to the road. I get dumped by my girlfriend of 2 years and my only stand-up experiences are awkward and unsuccessful.
2009: Tired of winter I decide to move out to Los Angeles to try and promote my walk. I perform frequently at some of the most famous comedy clubs in the world. I begin to edit the footage that I have from my walk and also begin recording the soundtrack for the film. I don’t work much but write lots of new material and make many friends in the business. I audition for a failed pilot, make a music video for my band roommates, and encounter a hodge podge of celebrities.
That’s where we find ourselves.. on the eve of 2010. The decade that Dan Knabb does something about it.
Tru.
